I am from Gary, Indiana. I grew up in public housing and on public assistance to an unmarried mother who suffered from Bipolar disorder. My entire life I was told that I was smart. So that was my focus: education.
I was the girl who always scored the highest on exams, the spelling bee champ, the odd one reading classic literature at recess. My mother was very kind and involved in my school activities. She was always at the PTA meetings, volunteering, and teaching me new things. In all honesty, she was my best friend. During my childhood, my mother had two big mental breakdowns that caused her to be institutionalized. Otherwise, she was ALWAYS there.
Religion was a big part of my life growing up. My mother’s family was divided between Lutheranism and the Church of Christ. We always discussed the Bible, listened to Gospel music, and I had to learn a new Bible verse every week.
When I was 12, my mother told me she had cancer. And just like that she was gone. Her funeral was the day before my 13th birthday. My dad, who wasn’t around much after I turned 7, came to me right after her death and asked me “Well, who are you going to live with now?” At that moment I decided then that he too would be dead. I knew that I was on my own. I spent the rest of my life excelling at school but beyond depressed. I bounced from family member to family member always feeling like a burden. It was by the grace of God that I never ended up a statistic: pregnant, on drugs, sexually abused or promiscuous.
My mother would often visit me in my dreams after she passed away.
We would sit and talk for hours in a beautiful garden. This happened for about a year. Other deceased family members would come and talk to me too. Eventually, some not so friendly things began to visit my sleep as well. I tried to talk to my family about it, but was often told that my dreams were overwhelming and to just keep quiet. So I did.
One of my closest childhood friend’s mother told me around that time that my “light was very strong and that things would be attracted to it.” She also told me to pray a Psalm regularly. But what exactly did that mean?
The dreams would continue to come, mainly of loved ones who have transitioned. I will never forget when I was in high school, there was a local kid who ended up missing at college. They searched and searched for him. I had a dream about where to find his body. And of course it was exactly there. I think I might have told my best friend at the time because I just could not believe it.
Another childhood friend’s father died. I never had a conversation with him outside of an occasional greeting. He came to me in a dream playing a piano and told me to take care of his daughter because she was about to have a really rough time in life. The next day, in casual conversation, I asked her if her dad played the piano. She told me that he was a classically trained pianist. I didn’t know how to tell her what he said. Again I kept quiet.
THE DREAMS BEGAN TO OCCUR LESS FREQUENT. EVENTUALLY, ALL THE BOOK STUFF PAID OFF AND I WAS GRANTED SEVERAL FULL-RIDE SCHOLARSHIPS.
I wanted to study music. I even secured a music scholarship in a marching band, but I turned it down without telling anyone. After all, music & dreaming weren’t going to put food in my mouth once college was over. I graduated in 2007 with a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. After working as an ICU nurse for 4 years (and yes, I was pretty good at that) I went on to get my Masters of Science in Nursing as a Nurse Practitioner in 2011.
My dad eventually died. He actually visited me in a dream the night before he passed away. I went to be with him the next day. He took his last breath shortly after I arrived. Prior to his death we made amends and I had my first real test of forgiveness. Forgiving him for his abandonment was one of the hardest things i have ever done. And i’m not talking about that say you forgive and you’re still carrying that resentment around. I forgave him. We were actually close in his last days. After his death, he too joined the dream team!
I eventually purchased my first condo as a single woman.
I had a lovely little home. I would always feel a presence or two. See a shape move across the room. I would even notice some items would be moved randomly around the house. I figured that these occurrences were not bothering me, so I would just look past them and continue on about my day.
My dreams became more frequent and with random beings popping up. Never talking, but watching me. It was almost as if I was not even asleep, but in another dimension. I would then talk to people in whatever dimension I was in, then have the same conversations with them in my real life. We may not have talked in person in months, but our late night encounters always kept me up to date into what was going on in their lives. I would only mention these things to my best friend. After all, I didn’t want to be that weird girl.
I went to church every Sunday, was baptized, sang in the choir, tithed, and read my Bible most days. I hung out with friends but still felt lonely and was depressed again. I tried conventional counseling in undergrad. Since it was helpful I decided to try counseling again during this period of my life. I went to a counselor who told me that I was going through a rough patch but had the best coping skills he had ever seen in a person. He told me that he didn’t have much to offer me. I still wasn’t happy. I felt like I was just existing. After all, I was a successful Neurosurgery Nurse Practitioner, right? I was even voted nurse of the year by the patients at the VA where I worked.
One night, after I drifted to sleep, I found myself in this other dimension. This dark creature with many tentacles danced around my body. I couldn’t even wake up. I felt paralyzed. I eventually Said “Jesus!” and woke up. I have never been more terrified in life. I didn’t sleep for 3 days. I was afraid to. I looked like the walking dead because I was so exhausted.
No longer was I quiet. I needed some answers. I began telling my encounter to just about every one I ran into. I received two reactions: either people would look at me as if I had lost my marbles or they too would share some supernatural experience. I knew I wasn’t crazy. I definitely wasn’t the only one going through these things. I didn’t get any support from my church folk. The Bible teachings weren’t really helping either.
Eventually I told a nursing colleague about what was going on. She was a free spirited woman from France. I knew that she didn’t participate in modern religions, but believed in God. She came into my home and told me that it was built on an old Native American burial ground and Spirits were constantly traveling through my space. She mentioned that I would see them on a different astral plane (an astral what??!?!). I was taught how to give offerings to the spirits so they would leave me alone. She then prayed and cleansed my living space. Things became much better after that. But now I really had some questions! She told me to get an Akashic Reading. A what? I went on to have my first reading in 2012. My life would be forever changed.
I was beyond nervous. This stuff had to be demonic, right? I talked with the recommended Akashic record consultant. She ensured me that she believed in God and that we would pray first, which eased most of my anxieties. It was quite amazing. I received answers to my burning questions. Discovered some of my gifts. I was even told that I turned down a music scholarship to pursue a safe career in medicine. No one knew about that, except the scholarship board who read my denial. I was awed. I went on having a regular readings throughout the next few years. In 2014, I was encouraged to take a class to become a reader. I just found it all so interesting.
For the next few years, I found myself immersed in spiritual healing: chakra balancing, reiki, readings. I would just pick up skills. Take a class that interested me. I began to really heal from my childhood, the death of my parents, fears of abandonment, trust issues, poor body image, anxiety and overeating. I realized that these things caused physical pains in my body.
As I was able to deal with these things, I felt lighter, free, and happy. Western medicine only treated the symptoms, but did not get to the cause of things. I even learned more about my own spiritual gifts: of clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, mediumship, astral projection, and precognition. I learned to close and protect my aura and energy, so only God’s light and beings of light surround me.
I tried to continue the above healing therapies. A little over a year ago, I had several of my alternative health therapy members to tell me to stop my visits. That it was time to fly on my own. Since that time I have helped those around me. I pray that I am able to help you.
Love and light,